The Question: It is widely known that premarital sex is not good, but how can I control and manage my sexual urge as a young adult who is single?
The solution to all sexual sins is to flee from those things igniting the urge….
Before the urge to have sex comes, you must have nursed it in your mind It could be what you watched, read, or hear that triggers the thought then the urge…
In things like this, the bible says we should think of things that are good, pure, of good report, etc So you do not have those thoughts Aside that, cleanse yourself / purge yourself from any form of impurities and think of that which is good or you can as well listen to music that edifies the soul
As a Christian, you know when you think lustfully, you sin against God, so having the consciousness that you are God’s image, and God’s temple, you will not want to sin against him and perhaps you fell, you can rise…
The basis is, take control of your thoughts
Priscilla Ogba Obokparo
Truth is you can hardly ever truly control your urges. But you can control what you feed your mind and self.
You can control your associations with people, places you go, the movies you see, etc. You also have the power to control the way you reply to situations and not put yourself in a fix…
Shasha, 25 yrs
Sexual urge is natural, created by God. It is very normal for you like a grown-up to feel it, it is abnormal if you don’t. But the urge is created to be satisfied inside the confines of marriage. What to do when you feel the urge as a single person. You don’t feed it, in fact, you don’t over flog it. Funny enough I have noticed that it is when one is idle, that’s when these funny thoughts come in triggered by any of our senses. So I would advise that you get busy, something to occupy you daily. Moreso, when the urge comes, you don’t feed it, instead, you starve it by praying, reading, moving out of your comfort zone but never visit the opposite gender especially those you are attracted to e.g your spouse. Do not feed the urge by masturbating, watching porn, etc, cos it will enslave your thoughts.
Oluwabunmi Lynda James
We need to understand that God forbids premarital sex. 1thessa 4:3-5. “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God;”
God design for sex is beautiful only when enjoyed in the right context. The battle for purity is real, and it’s an intense one. We live in a culture that has totally perverted God’s design for sex and pressures us to join in on the fun. That’s why we must be careful and guard our heart with what God says about the whole thing. When a sexual temptation comes in we must fight it or flee from it remember 1 cor 10:13. “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”
Abimbola, 22 years
Don’t involve yourself in things that will lead to premarital sex, stay far from it, stay away from friends who indulge in it, stay away from peer groups who are not Godly, discipline yourself on what you watch, what you see, and also discipline your mind. Let your mind be on what you are doing at that stage i.e your education There is time for everything. Above all Ask for God’s grace
Oluwadamilola Roselyn Muritala
The battle for purity is real Yes, the world tries to lure us into it. but the battle for purity begins within the walls of our hearts. The best place to start is by spending time worshipping the true and living God every day.
In my own opinion it’s all about the mindset and self-discipline, believe me when I say it’s not easy one bit, but then one can set his/her mind not to go in that direction, it’s much easier for ladies than guys tho…
Ivy 18 yrs
First, let’s start from the mind, the predominant thought in your mind will to a large extent determine your actions…I.e if my mind is filled with the right knowledge and thought the chances that premarital sex will happen is low.
Secondly, your association, show me your friends and I will tell you who you are. Mind your association To back up those “a merry heart doeth good and out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh Evil communication corrupts good manners.
Lastly, the holy spirit will help you because by strength shall no man prprevail. He is our strength because our bodies are given to sin, little wonder Apostle Paul said, putting my body under subjection hence the name of God be glorified.
I, for one, is someone who is not a virgin.
Of a truth, it is easier to abstain when you are a virgin than when you have known what sex feels like. The sexual urge cannot be controlled only by discipline if discipline is what anyone is hoping to hear.
Discipline will only take one so far. To control sexual urge, alongside discipline, one majorly needs God’s grace which will only dwell through prayers. With grace, one is empowered to overcome these urges and thoughts.
With the presence of grace, which is divine and not by nature, discipline then makes sense, as power is available and falling then becomes a choice/will.
Have you read Rom 6:14 “For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace” and Rom 11:6? “And if by grace, then it is no longer of works; otherwise grace is no longer grace. But if it is of works, it is no longer grace; otherwise work is no longer work.”
Read them again. Get it now?
Everybody has to deal with this kind of issue that is why we all need to have an interest in what we do or interest in what we engage ourselves in. whenever that idea comes into your head try to get yourself busy that’s the only way you can control it. you try to get yourself busy with something that interests you and if it’s probably at nighttime get to sleep. just go and sleep and if it’s around the day get yourself busy so that you can clear your mind of such kind of thought.
Sex is very dangerous for young teens because they don’t need it. The main purpose of sex is for childbearing and for enjoying oneself and sex is basically for people that are married not for young adults that are not married. younger adults experiencing sexual urge can help him or herself in So many ways:
Be careful of what you look at, what you hear, what you place your attention on because you are in the world of social media where there is so much content online that can corrupt your mind. Also, be careful with the kind of friends you are moving with. If you’re always on social media, avoid sexual content like since like the opening of ladies’ breasts or see dirty pictures on the internet. Avoid them totally.
Runaway from pornography they can destroy you.
Some of the things that cause sexual urge for young youths are because they expose themselves to sexual content and these things keep creating the sexual urge for them from time to time.
- Be determined already in your mind that you don’t want something like this.
- Do not expose yourself to music that can corrupt your mind.
- Don’t expose your hears to sexual content.
Be careful of the kind of gathering you find yourself. This is not the time for you to be in a room with a girl that you having feelings for. Runaway from anything that can just create the sexual we are talking about. That’s the best way to help yourself. Put your mind first.
The more aware and conscious of God’s presence and the often we speak with Him in fellowship, the lesser the urge rises. And even when it rises, strength effortlessly rises from within you to stop.
We do not leave sin by trying to leave it in our own strength. We did not get saved in our own strength. What we did was that we looked to Jesus and got saved. Like Peter, look to Jesus(keep your focus on Him) and you won’t find yourself sinking anymore. That’s the formula that the Lord has given us.
The Israelites, when they were bitten by the snake in the wilderness, looked to the other Serpent that God instructed them to look and they were healed. The question is, what are you feeding on? What is your focus? If you surround yourself with God, the needs of the flesh will gradually drop off So condition your atmosphere…
Don’t listen to those songs, don’t watch those movies (scrutinize them) I am not saying don’t watch movies…
I am saying censor what you watch, not every movie should be seen…and let in the Word.
Listen to messages, pray in the Holy Ghost, talk to God…
Stay aware of His presence…as a teenager, you’re not too young to condition your atmosphere.
1Cor. 6 8-11. This simply explains the dangers of immorality. Wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God. Do not be deceived
- How do I control and manage sexual urges?
- 1cor. 6 18-20 flee from sexual urge or immorality.
When it comes the Bible is not saying resist the devil but the Bible says flee every appearance of evil. Urge for sex is a good example of the appearance of evil thanks.
Flee every appearance of what appears like lust. Caution yourself. Determine to be chaste and disciplined Pray to God earnestly to help you. Walk with those who have the same goals/determination/mindset as you, cos you can’t choose to be clean and swim with pigs. Have a tangible reason. A tangible base, a reason strong enough to sustain your determination.
First, I will like to emphasize that premarital sex is not good because it is believed that it’s not but because God instructs that we should ‘keep the bed undefiled’.
Back to the question, how to control and manage sexual urge as a young adult…
- Its a matter of your state of heart…. What you think, what you hear, and what you see are determinant of actions you take. When you have your heart set on the right things, thinking of doing sexually related acts will be little.
- Control your body…here what you see is very important, visuals are stored in our memory and when we meditate, what we see plays out. Stay away from sexually related videos, pictures. It helps.
- Runaway from temptation when you see one.
- Take your mind off such thinking, occupy your mind with fruitful thoughts.
*Pray and study more.
- Make great use of your singlehood that there will be no avenue for straying.
See my brother, it takes God to overcome all sins. It takes personal principles to overcome premarital sex…
In my case, it was exactly 10 years of waiting before my wedding night. This was possible because I was determined not to have any girlfriend except that I am ready for marriage. At some point, I thought I was led and I entered into a relationship with a lady but I chose just to be a friend as a measure not to give in to unnecessary sexual urge…
This helped me greatly as I stayed 3 years in that relationship without kissing or touching. Thereafter I was slacked and I entered into other 2 relationships where I had to compromise my principles. I entered into 2 other relationships one after the other where I wasn’t ready and I allowed emotions and adulthood got over me and at one I kissed my partner and at the other, I touched my partner. God helped me in both as He quickly cautioned me and I had to call the relationships off…
Really, we have to be firm not to give in to sexual urge as singles by being determined to follow godly principles and mine was FRIENDSHIP BEFORE MARRIAGE. This will always put you in check and will help you to stay balanced even if you are attracted to the opposite sex…
My name is Topman Oladosu and I am 35 years old…
1) By having understanding ( I mean something under your standing which is JESUS Christ) if You engage in it, it to your own detriment and not God or your parents or church members.
2) Having good friends, don’t keep friends that don’t believe in sexual purity…
3) Be engage, I mean to have something tangible you are investing your time into
4) Always remember the enjoyment does not last long and the pains and regrets in it are forever, even when you confess
Adejumobi Bright, 29
In order to control sexual urges, we must consider how they are derived.
Sexual urges are derived from certain sexual stimulations i.e sexually suggestive contents that an individual is exposed to.
The level to which you are exposed to such content determines how far your mind is permitted to travel and in turn stimulates you and results in sexual urges. The urge is an appetite or a craving for sexual appeal, and if you feed those desires, just like food, you will long for more until you feel satisfied. This establishes the fact that your urges are stimulated by what you feed your eyes to your thoughts (mind) with.
Therefore you have to control what you see which translate to what you think which eventually registers in your subconscious mind and you find yourself automatically thinking about things you didn’t intend to
Taking it to the Bible
The Bible says to guard your heart with all diligence for our of it are the issues of life
As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is
The eye is the lamp of the body. If the eye be single, then the whole body is full of light
I have made a covenant with my eyes that I will not look lustfully upon a maiden
The word of God have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against God
This means the word of God has to dwell richly in your heart to guide your thoughts
In this trying times, my opinion, about how one can stay away from fornication and its vices includes,
- FLEE: The Bible made it clear that we should flee all appearance of evil.
You want to be holy and you are asking the lady to send her nude pictures?
You listen to ungodly music.
You call her late at night and even call her sexy names?
You read romantic novels and talk dirty?
All these would keep ringing in your mind and in your thought
and before you know it you are already in the act.
Again I say Flee from all appearance of evil.
- Channel your energy to something productive: Engage yourself, by doing the right things, and never stay idle.
When you are feeling somehow my brother and sister just stand up from that spot and think about what you can do that will help you become a better person. Don’t be idle.
- Read! Read! Read!
Read good books that will give you more insight about God and will make you get closer to Him, read your Bible daily
And finally, pray without ceasing God will not tempt one more than he can bear, just ask Him to give you the grace to carry on.
And it shall be well with you.
Adeyemi Bisola Titilayo, 24
By filling yourself consistently with more of the Word of God and running away from all appearances of evil, like Joseph did. Anything that makes you have a sexual urge is an appearance of evil (as long as you are not married) avoid it. See no evil! Hear no evil! Touch no evil! Do no evil! Guard your heart!
It’s difficult I’ll be sincere with you especially if you are a guy.
it’s easier for ladies than for a guy because of the way the body is built.
A guy that has never been exposed to sexual content like pornography will find it more easier.
from research a lot of guys have been exposed to such things and eventually transferred to sleeping with someone over 90% of men married men still watch pornography and masturbate that’s the truth.
I had the question in my mind for a while then the Holy Spirit told me that the way to you can overcome that urge is through the Holy Spirit. 1cor 6:16-18
There are only two forces capable of fighting for your body in this entire universe is number one is sexual immorality and number two is the Holy Spirit.
That’s why the Bible said that who you yield your body as servant to be is one that will be a master over you.
if you give you a body over to feed sexual things then you’ll find yourself begin to struggle with it and it will be hard to keep the urge but if you can surrender your body to the holy spirit it would indeed work.
How do you surrender your body to the Holy Spirit
1. Keep a constant vibrant communion with the spirit of the Lord not because you want to over sexual urge but normally as a Christian. Keep increasing it through fasting and praying.
This is for those who have been exposed to sexual content before but if you haven’t you may not need to struggle with it.
First, I’m glad this talk started from the church because they’ve hidden this topic and decided not to talk about it
You can control your sexual urge by being careful about what you see/watch, listen to and talk about with your friends.
I know this thing is always said but it is underrated
And when sexual thoughts come to your head, you need to occupy yourself with something that will take your mind and heart off it
If you’re in an environment with the opposite sex and the urge comes, the best thing is to excuse yourself from that place
I understand the fact that it might be hard to do, but that’s the best option
The main thing is your mind
I feel like if you can control your mind
I am Fadairo Enioluwaduroti and I’m 20
You made it to the end? Wooow! Well done. The next thing now is to make sure that the hundreds, thousands and millions of people out there who need to read this article, gets to read it.
You can do that by sharing the link across you social media accounts.
God bless you.
Hello, welcome to another episode of this series. I hope you’re not getting tired because we are just getting to the seemingly interesting parts of this series? I desire to know how this series has blessed you, I would request you send in your testimonies through the reply box below this article. Today we haveContinue reading “Positive Attitude”
ATTITUDES Hello, did you notice I was gone for a while? It took a while to release this episode because at first it wasn’t good enough work for me and my closest friend believed I could do better. Also because I have decided to publish nothing but good and accurate information for you guys, IContinue reading “BECOMING A BETTER YOU | EP4”
Hello, My name is Victor Olukunle Taiwo, I am the author of this series and your host. Welcome to my blog, I sincerely want to appreciate you for following the series on BECOMING A BETTER YOU for the past two weeks. If this is your first time, thanks for joining us. You can find previousContinue reading “BECOMING A BETTER YOU | EP3”